Monday, 11 March 2013

'Wicked' LibDems in fresh assault on family values

There was consternation throughout the borough last night as reports came in of a cunning new LibDem campaign to promote the dishevelled, disorderly and dissolute lifestyles of tramps, vagabonds and other ne'er-do-wells. 

A typical vagabond sunning himself on a bench in Wandsworth
WandsworthEye was shocked to discover that an elderly lady by the name of Sandrine Taylor has been using Twitter to promote her  wicked work as Chairperson of the Wandsworth Friends of Tramps and Vagabonds. 

Describing herself as a "fruit tea drinker, hemp weaver and Liberal Democrat", the shameless spinster has been using the micro-blogging site to boast of the lavish feasts she has been preparing for the borough's layabouts. 

One recent tweet even had the temerity to attack much-loved WandsworthEye, which as readers will know has long been at the vanguard of efforts to protect respectable family values

I've also made crispy cakes for hungry comrades on Wandsworth's streets - targets of the malevolent @

"There truly is nothing the Liberal Democrats won't stoop to," commented Colonel Hartley of Tunbridge Wells, currently holidaying the borough. "Thankfully most LibDems are in prison now, but we must all remain vigilant. Only recently a Metropolitan Police helicopter was circling over Wandsworth all night trying to identify hidden Liberal Democrat activists. On no account must we listen to the siren voices of Clegg, Cable or Sandrine Taylor - whose manifesto would surely lead us down the road to moral turpitude. Hurrah for WandsworthEye for exposing their false prophecies!"

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