Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Package holiday boom turns Wandsworth into 'new Costa Brava'

Wandsworth's fledgling tourist sector looked set for explosive growth last night as industry bigwigs predicted that the opening of the new Premier Inn on Garratt Lane would usher in a package holiday boom in SW18.

As leading tour operators scrambled to include Wandsworth's latest luxury hotel in their Summer 2014 brochures, there was talk of the Brighter Borough taking its proud place among the world's No.1 holiday hotspots.

"Mark my words," said one source close to Wandsworth Council. "Premier Inn's prescient decision to expand its 5-star offering in southwest London means the big times are coming for our much-loved neighbourhood." He predicted: "They'll call it the Costa Wandla."

The lavishly appointed new Premier Inn
Glamorous socialite Tarquinetta Tiara-Tempest watched approvingly as workmen put the final touches to Wandsworth's new luxury hotel complex. "I stayed at the Battersea Travelodge the other night," she said, wrinkling her nose, "and it was bloody awful. But a Premier Inn is in a different category altogether. And no wonder it's been built on well-to-do Garratt Lane. They'd never have put it among the manky chicken shops on the High Street."

Tourism officials also rubbed their hands in glee as they looked forward to years of bounty in the borough. Unveiling plans for a proposed Wandle Beach to complement the new hotel facility, the Chief Executive of VisitBritain said: "There's so much for holidaymakers to do in Wandsworth, even before the beach is completed. Families might enjoy a meal at Nando's in Southside shopping centre, for example. Or perhaps they could pay a visit to the newly-expanded Notorious Garratt Lane Sainsbury's. But do be careful when using the perilous escalator - and don't forget to hold the handrail at all times." 

Artist's impression of proposed Wandle Beach

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