Madeira apostrophe congress 'is not a junket'

WandsworthEye was widely praised last night after reluctantly agreeing to forsake the hedonistic pleasures of springtime in London and embark on a gruelling three-and-a-half-hour flight to Madeira to attend the Global Apostrophe Congress. As Wandsworth's parks and gardens filled to brimming point with picnicking families and sun-worshippers, all eager to make the most of the balmy Mediterranean weather conditions, the Eye's editor-in-chief gloomily packed his suitcase and set off for Gatwick Airport.

The cheery springtime view from WandsworthEye HQ

"Once again, WandsworthEye has demonstrated its selfless devotion to duty," commented neighbour Marguerita Ponsonby-Smythe. "Who would not prefer to be basking in the sunshine of SW18 rather than toiling away at a dreary apostrophe congress on the other side of the world?"

Scheming Liberal Democrats were slammed last night for wickedly insinuating that the Madeira congress was a thinly-disguised junket. As secret photographs came to light of the apostrophe delegates hard at work, supporters of WandsworthEye rallied round the much-loved community news service. "It only reflects well on the borough that our voice is being heard with such clarity in the crucial global apostrophe talks," said influential socialite Octavia Belle-Wether. "Let the cunning Liberal Democrats be silent for evermore."

Delegates hard at work at the global apostrophe talks in Madeira

WandsworthEye will resume its daily Twitter feed on Saturday 30 March and wishes its phalanx of devoted followers a Happy Easter.