Good afternoon Wandsworth!
After tweeting relentlessly for half a year, WandsworthEye is now making the bold and breathtaking leap from micro- to macroblogging. In the year of the Olympiad, the Southfields by-election AND the shameless opening of a Dallas Chicken & Ribs on Wandsworth High Street, there was simply insufficient space on Twitter to address the myriad of pressing concerns facing the borough.
WandsworthEye has never been one to pontificate, as its many devoted followers will doubtlessly agree. However at this early juncture in the proceedings it might be a valuable exercise to outline some of the key issues facing SW18 and environs.
Top of the list is the profusion of junk food outlets scattered along the High Street in contravention of even minimum standards of human dignity. Stinky, manky chicken shops and their nauseating pong-fare do nothing to enhance the borough's retail environment, and only encourage the festering of behooded yobbery.
Of almost equal concern is the ongoing apostrophe crisis which has now spread beyond central Wandsworth to outlying districts including East and West Putney. With basic spelling skills also dwindling by the hour - one thinks in particular of the "Babie's wear" shop on the Upper Richmond Road - it may be time for the government's Cobra emergency committee to intervene.
One could go on, but WandsworthEye has always eschewed needless and extraneous commentary. For the moment it will suffice to allude only briefly to some of the other issues facing our treasured neighbourhood: the disappearance of Costa's fourth sunshade; the persistent littering around the tramps' and vagabonds' benches; selfish mothers walking five abreast with vast cumbersome pushchairs; and the needlessly opaque pricing policies of Garratt Lane Sainsbury's.
To these and other matters of local, regional and national import WandsworthEye will return on a regular basis in the weeks, months and years to come.